anti climax

4 am toothache
is welcome
for it brings insights
from my spirit
again again again
another flip of the coin
another proof
that I am always winning

the pain subsides
i spilt a spirit in my mouth
to numb it
and i could finally
bloody  rest
but no
I need more news
I need more tests
I hate admitting I am tired
when at my weakest
I secretly
am my best

for in my naked
disarmed big eyes
I hold space
for what is true
which is nothing close
to any book or poem

nothing far from the heart of
my cosmic body
reaching its goal
but it’s not wrapped in words
it cannot
so I seize
to try and control
and let go
I let go


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