BEATING MYSELF UP FOR THE PAIN I’VE CAUSED pt. 1234

Hello olleH
I wish you weren’t here right now
As much as I’d wish you had been here always
When I couldn’t see my breaking strings
My pearly eyes
My boiling veins
Wish you could have showed me
I am perfect
Held up a mirror
To my curly head
So in your eyes I’d see I’m worth it
I wish you were so distant
That I couldn’t ever miss you
I wish these words
Can be sent with missiles
On the soul plane I have as many doves
As on Earth I have issues
With the inability to split my fist in two
The heart’s ego dismissal
Every morning
The ache is close to lethal
The burns and bruises
On my breaking bones from my own pistol
I curl and wish I could cry
Like the ‘normal’ ones do
But I’ve developed a fear of emotions
I can’t be myself since
I’ve been being you
To understand
Where you came from
What you’d gone through
And explain to myself
Why I still feel as I do
After what we’d gone through
Within the distance we’ve been enclosed to
My fake tears drop into the ocean
Of my distorted view
Zoom in, Zoom out
I’m forever in front, beside, behind you
Follow me
I follow you
In this circle
Lies our truth
One I cannot say
For it’s for no one else
But us two

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