Shallow physics

I made a friend once-

It seemed we had

Been before.

It felt we had

Grown on the same tree

Shared the same floor.

It wasn’t a he or a she

But both:

Half feminine,

Half masculine,

Holy whole.

All encompassing

Vessel of truth.

Unity.

Balance.

It went through life

walking all directions

one day at a time.

A step into darkness.

A leap into light.

An ever changing decision

ever so certain

of its righteousness

and its mistakes.

so heavenly,

so sinful.

Sinful in its slavery to society,

virtuous in its free will;

running doubtless

into what it was told was pointless.

Nameless,

like a tree,

Aiming words like branches into the old air

‘Here I am’

it stated inside its head.

The abyss answered:

‘you’re welcome.

ask and you shall receive

space for your growth.

it is here for you,

when you are for it.’

it acknowledged the words

whose voice seemed to come

from the middle of its brain

but somehow

spilled.

applied

everywhere.

‘i caught some answers

from the sinking stars

but each constant,

each answer,

came wih 11 questions.

Observed and wondered,

my mind wandered

through multiple pathways

while I sat still.’

it readjusted its spine

so it can see and receive,

in case a miracle occurs.

A thousand breaths later,

Still nothing had happened.

‘Nothing is eternal.

Everything is zero without a nothing

To base it upon.’

As if it felt I was drained

Mentally restless

It reached out with its long eyes

Into my ears

And spoke slowly:

‘At times I lose my mind,

it runs like I do.

in the freedom direction,

like a wild pet.

I anger and I fear

It won’t find its way back.

Cover my brains with sweaty hands

breathe desire into them,

crying dry tears of loss.

Where does my space go,

when it’s gone?

Is there a gap in my existence?’

Foolishly waiting for an answer,

As the presence of knowledge

lingered,

intangible.

Transparent in its balance

Of all there was and is.

If my friend chose a name,

Would it identify with it?

Would it lose its ever-changing liquid ness

‘Choice isn’t permanent’

It thought, as it could read my mind:

‘It falls heavy but dissolves

When forgotten

It’s only forgotten

When another choice is made.

Choice after choice,

I find myself in new places.

But does that mean I was previously lost?

My map is ethereal

And omnipresent

Though at times I can’t read it.’

Both of us sat silently,

receptive of all sounds and colours.

I almost had something to say

When it continued:

‘I wonder if it works

For somesoul else

Trying to reach me.

If they are trying to help me or

Are they without their own map,

Navigating through the pain of others

Hopping on and off

The grid of us,

Soul centrals…

My train is only big enough for me.’

It rambled

With its voice changing frequencies

And how beautifully it differed.

For a second I thought

It’s speaking of me

And our so called

Fellowship.

Even if it wasn’t,

All was coming from us

And coming back

In an echo

A mastered song

Recorded in one go.

A vessel of being

With no identification

No name

Drawing

Without a frame

Colouring manically

In line with its divine

In love with the chaos

In love with all it is

And in awe of what it couldn’t be

And is yet to become.

Observantly

I read in its excited despair

The poem of its universe.

Its world always answered

Sometimes in silence

Like a wise old man

Who preferred to harsh

His answers

With the habitual

Chain smoking

And let his exhales

Do the talking.

‘Oh ever-loving grace of life

Colour me colourblind.

Silence me modest.

Create me from my past life’s leftovers!

I remember by not remembering,

I embrace by being distant,

I love by not hating

And hate

By letting my ego get infatuated

With sense-satisfaction.

Swallow all sharp words

Throw up swords of wisdom

When alone

With a substance in my blood

Mostly natural

Preferably any

On a patterned carpet

Thriving on the pain of things unsaid

That grow in my bottomless pit of soul searching

Soil rich in ill-fed nutrients

Poisoned water

Long winter

Unpredictable spring

Crippled seeds

That need a helping hand

To come out of the darkness

Of the underworld!

I sing to them

With a broken string of a voice

And try,

Always

Try

And Know

No Other Way Of Being.

But Believing.’

PS:
It laid on soil

That brews gold

And planted its mind

In a handstand

Core engaged

Stemming all the way

Into the hollowness of the earth plane.

There, we brushed over the truth

With an old cloth

Our mother covered us with

When she summoned our old souls

Into another play of physicality

Our father finally felt fearless love

Fortunate enough to die

In his denial

Leaving us with a broken bond with life

Tangled in a knot of cable ties

With my bloodless twin

Loving veins run deep

On olive skin

That can’t keep

The sun

For they’ve been

For eons stung

By the 3D

Mercilessly.

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